Hullo and welcome!
Originally Posted by Phy
His birthday is around the corner and we had already decided to meet again before this mess happened. Now it kind of seems like a chance to confirm if at least we would be able to wangle this special kind of relationship. He thinks it would be best to know about this, before I tell my husband. Even better would be not to mention anything at all, keep our best friend level until we actually moved in together and see what could or couldn't happen then.
Please don't do this. Imagine how betrayed and cheated your husband will feel when he knows how you machinated this behind his back. You said that you are afraid to think what would have happened if your best friend had been around more. I take it to mean you think you would have cheated on your husband with him already if it wasn't for the distance between you two. How are you going to stop yourselves from cheating on him while you live under the SAME roof
Talk to your husband about how your feel. There really is no other way around this.