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Old 04-24-2011, 05:58 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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By uppity, I meant indignant. Of course, it's understandable that you don't want it to be so difficult and that her response feels like blackmail, but I was only trying to point out that it's a bit over the top to get upset with her reaction if you think about what it feels like to be in her shoes. Digging your heels in right now is not a good idea, it's not even been a whole day for her to absorb what you told her. Some couples who have posted their stories in the Blogs section took years of talking and negotiating before opening up their marriages.

Oh, I was going to ask you how it went with the therapist, because you had mentioned you were going in your other thread. I think it's a good sign that she's agreed to go with you next time. But give her the space to feel what she's feeling and express what she needs to express. Just because she's saying she will do that does not mean it will actually happen, but that she's in extreme turmoil over this. She is hurting.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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