Pixie, my great-grandmother lived with her second husband and a "boarder" who slept in an extra bedroom they had. This was during the 1960s and they were all in their 60s and 70s at the time. I think the three of them lived together for almost ten years. As a little girl, I called this man by his first name and understood that he was "a friend of the family." Years later, after my ggm and ggf were gone and I was researching my family tree, I was told by my great-Aunt Blanche that Oscar was my ggm's boyfriend. I was too young to be privy to this, but apparently, it was common knowledge, though I doubt it was talked about.
So, basically, although I don't know whether my ggm had ever actually "confessed" to anyone, there were people who figured it out and knew. You would probably be surprised by who would be more accepting of it than not. I don't know if our information age nowadays would change things, but use your judgment and trust your gut in choosing who to tell and who to let figure it out on their own. You're right - who needs that extra drama? LOL