I agree that it is not easy at all, that was my emotions talking since this has been an ongoing problem for months. He did agree to come and then canceled on me. My mother is about to die and it just meant a lot to me.
I get it though, perhaps I am in the wrong. While taking care of a new born is extremely rough, taking care of a confused, delirious, dying woman with a horrible open wound for a year straight and then facing her death is...well, much like having a sick infant that will never grow older, only die.
His wife and him have a "don't ask don't tell policy" which I totally get is not a good way to go about polyamory...but I can't do anything about it.
I guess you are probably right. I need to back off. Find someone else to help me with this. I'm not close to anyone else at the moment, my fiance of 5 years and I broke up last year, so I'm all kinds of messed up right now.
I dunno, he told me point blank that he would not be able to get away from the family at all. And then went away for something I see as far less important that seeing me. But perhaps he just needed the break, and coming to see me at this time would not exactly be a break. I just wish he would have communicated that to me.
I am an emotional wreck right now, and hopefully you can be just as sympathetic to that as you are to the new parents. Your blunt honesty is appreciated, though.