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Old 04-23-2011, 06:59 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
How long have the two/three of you been together? In a year or two, she might be sad you weren't there. Do you feel that she wants to nest with Eric and you have less of a role in their life as a result? Have you talked about this co-parenting thing?
The three of us became casual lovers more than two years ago, and Gia and I have been dating for a year and a half. I do think there's a nesting instinct going on, and that it's part of the mix of things making her want more space.

We haven't talked about the idea of co-parenting. It's a decision that would have to involve Eric too, of course. This is *their* child, one they've been wanting and planning on for a long time. I'll play a role in the child's life, but I don't think my involvement will warrant a title like Mom #2. I can't even articulate whether or not that's something I want. I've never really imagined children of my own, it's a hard thing to think about.

What I want right now is for the two of them to really want me to be there, and for me to get the chance to help them, to bond with the child, and to continue to be a part of their lives. I've expressed as much to Gia and she's down with it. As for what it'll look like? I think that, like the relationship itself, it's going to have to be allowed a certain freedom to evolve organically.

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
I know it does nothing to alleviate this particular sting, but this might not be her only birthing. It might be that one day she will there to hold your hand when you give birth.
Chances are good it will be -- if they have a second child they want to adopt. But who knows. And the potential reversal some day is neat to think about.

I haven't gotten a chance yet to bring up the idea of me taking some time off work to babysit in the first several months after the birth, but I'm very curious to see what their reactions will be.
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