If you open a discussion on the topic, that's what you're committing to: a discussion. Also, how could any of you make any committments to each other without first thoroughly discussing the issues at hand?
If they had been lying to you, I for one wouldn't blame you if you shut down altogether to the possibility of signing on for more of the same. So the fact that you are even open to discussing the issue speaks well of your open mindedness and desire to see that all of you are having your needs met. But it is not selfish to protect your heart, especially in cases where it's been put at risk in the past. Your first responsibility is to yourself and your personal integrity. How can I love someone else until I first find and nurture that love inside myself?
Originally Posted by Midnight
I'm not even sure I can trust her really.
Is it that you are not sure you can trust her, or is it that you already distrust
her? If you're not sure, perhaps you can open the door to building trust. If you distrust her, you're done and there's nothing left to discuss. (IMO. I would not waste time discussing becoming involved with someone I distrust.)