Thread: Just LR
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Old 04-21-2011, 01:52 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post

Abandoning me to deal w/his ex-wife and her threats against myself and my children, including two attempts at kidnapping my kids.

Abandoning me to deal with his son who was abusive due to emotional trauma caused by his parents b.s.

Accusing me of cheating for 2 years before I ever did ANYTHING to warrant the accusation.

Going out to the bars 3-4 nights a week to play pool with the guys "cause he was on a league" and expecting me to take care of the kids-but I'm not allowed to go out without him.

Telling me he wasn't going to pursue a relationship with someone-then doing it behind my back.

Telling me he wasn't going to take said person to our house (his choice, not my demand) and then doing it behind my back.

Starting a sexual relationship, making out etc-behind my back.

Creating boundary rules for a "poly boundary list agreement" and then breaking them.

It's easy for him to say that I should just understand when he makes a "mistake", but it's not something he will do in return.....
I've got to admit. Every sentence in here scares me. LR, why are you still working on this? Because you love him? There are a lot of people out there worth loving. Because you made a promise? It's a sad fact of life that promises get broken sometimes.

He's left the house, you're going through therapy, those are good steps. But you've questioned on here why you're still trying and I am questioning it right along with you. This doesn't seem healthy.

Leaving is a very, very hard thing to do. Even harder, I'm sure, in a situation like this where there are kids involved. I left my lover of just three years, a quarter of the time you've been with Maca, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it was also the best thing I've ever done.

If you do decide to leave.... your life will go on. Everyone involved will figure out how to heal and it might be a whole heck of a lot better than this situation which seems to me to be very worryingly putting your health (exposing you sexually, second-hand, to people without your agreement) and your heart (verbal abuse, promises broken and retracted, constant about-faces, disrespect) at constant risk.
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