Originally Posted by TruckerPete
I've been in enough mono relationships to know that I am not a monogamous person. I will either cheat, or break up with the person to pursue other interests. The heartache of leaving a love who forces me to choose or says they can't be with me if I'm poly is nothing compared to the heartache I know I will eventually inflict on them if I allow myself to try and be something I'm not.
This, this, this. God I wish I could have coined that paragraph years ago!!
Originally Posted by rory
I am definitely prepared to do very much to find solutions that work for everybody, and taking my partners' wishes into account. But that does stand for all the people I am in a relationship with, not only "the one that came first".
AND HERE IN LIES the reason for crisis in my current dynamic.
I didn't play the game in the "proper order" or by the "proper rules" and I fully admit that.
BUT-this far into the dynamic-the bottom line is that EVERY PERSON IN THE FAMILY has been a SIGNIFICANT part of the family for over 10 years. Therefore, EVERY PERSONS needs/feelings etc have equal importance to me.
That is evidently a VERY difficult idea based on "common culture", but it's the reality for me....