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Old 04-20-2011, 07:12 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by Morningglory629 View Post
How did you handle being introduced to Pepper's nuclear family? what helped? what didn't work for you? his dadt policy is that he does not want to hear sexual details. or for that matter personal details that concern only 2rings And I. but point taken.
Initially I met RP's and PN's families as a family friend. We built up a certain repertoire based on my being a close personal friend of the family. I felt a little awkward attending family dinners as an "outsider". I was included in some pretty personal events as a friend, so the curiosity of other family members became more and more intense and awkward.

Then we came out to them and all hell broke loose on RP's side. Luckily I had an already formed connection with most of the people involved so after the dust settled we fell back into a natural coexistence without any of the awkwardness.

First question: Will you initially be introducing him as you Boyfriend or as a friend of you and your Hubby"s? There is a big difference obviously.

My recommendation from someone who went through this just like 2Rings will have to:

1) Build up a friendly connection through casual get togethers - nothing to personal as this will raise questions perhaps a bit too soon.

2) Once 2Rings establishes himself independently with your ex tented family or social circle then you can move into more personal get togethers.

3) Assess when they have built up trust in 2Rings and then decide if they are ready to hear the full story of his involvement.

4) AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!! Attempt to have your Hubby and 2Rings develop their own genuine connection. Why is this so important? Your friends and family will already be aligned with and concerned with your Hubby. They will be looking for signs that he is either healthy and ok or if he is in pain and struggling. Your Hubby WILL NOT be able to fake that he is happy and healthy with this dynamic in front of people who know him. If he isn't comfortable they will see through any forced smiles or practiced responses to their questions - his answers have to come from his heart in order for people to see past their concerns. If people see that he is hurting, they will likely see 2Rings in a negative way.

If you want to have any relaxed, genuine and enjoyable time as a tribe together, you need to all be in a good place. Then you will fill the room with confidence and positivity...otherwise the room will be filled with awkwardness.

Good luck....and have p-a-t-i-e-n-c-e

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