Originally Posted by Tonberry
I also have a principle I've always stuck to so far, and that is that if someone ever tells me "it's me or X, you've got to pick", I pick X, no matter what or who X is. Or really, it's more of a matter of "I don't pick you", because sometimes I pick neither. But I just can't stand ultimatums like that, they feel controlling and disrespectful of both me and X.
If somebody tries to dictate my behavior in the fashion of an ultimatum, then I have a strong abreaction. Homey don't play that game.
That's different, however, than somebody saying "I see X happening and I won't accept that. I'll be leaving because of that." They are free to decide what they do in response to changes in the situation.
It all boils down to whether they're choosing something for themselves or trying to force their choice on me.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.