Since becoming poly, I haven't formed a relationship with anyone who isn't already part of a couple. For me it's a matter of time constraints, not a matter of how much love I have to give. I spent many (9) years as an undergrad working full-time and going to school part-time or working part-time and going to school full-time. Wolf and our son, Yoda, got the short end of the stick attention-wise.
So while I love Wendigo, Pretty Lady, and Wolf equally, I just can't split my time equally between them and since Wendigo and PL also have a son, they understand because they're in the same place.
Wolf has attempted one relationship with a single woman; before our relationship evolved from open to poly; and it didn't end well. I was working 60 hrs a week and going to school 9 hours a week. Wolf was in NRE and tried to save her from a bad situation by moving her into our house, where she tried to take over being mother to our son (including planning to take him to a free carnival while I was at work and when I got called off work; telling me I couldn't go with them), convinced Wolf to stop taking his bi-polar meds, attempted to convince him that he wasn't actually bi-polar and that all his problems stemmed from being married to me..... it was the only time I've ever vetoed a relationship, but w/o his meds and in an extremely manic state he isn't capable of making rational decisions and our son's well being was at risk.
I have no preference with who he dates outside our quad, but I did ask for a boundary that he discuss all potential relationships w/ Wendigo and PL too; as any other relationships we form effect them too.
Last edited by BrigidsDaughter; 04-20-2011 at 05:59 PM.