Originally Posted by Morningglory629
Vetos do nothing but entrench resentment. Prohibitive stances are fanatical and off-putting in most cases- especially if it is in a supposedly loving relationship, i.e. one that exists of freewill in the first place.
I think I agree with you there, and if I understand correctly with your whole post. Veto is very different from negotiating a compromise; the former just does not work for me (for the reasons you stated above), but the latter is essential.
I am definitely prepared to do very much to find solutions that work for everybody, and taking my partners' wishes into account. But that does stand for all the people I am in a relationship with, not only "the one that came first". That is also why I wanted to make sure that my husband was on board before starting a new relationship because from that point onwards my girlfriend's needs would be a part of the equation, too.
For example, if I were to meet someone new at some point and wanted a relationship with them, I would definitely check that both of my existing partners would be ok with it.