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Old 04-20-2011, 05:12 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tercera View Post
Thank you so much for your response. They helped me a lot in trying to confront my insecurities. I now realize:
1) My biggest fear is being alone, again. I was alone for a very long time. Now I know what it is to have someone to talk to, to hug me, to phone me. I am sooooo scared of losing that. I donīt want to be alone again.
2)Worst case scenario is being alone AND depressing myself. Iīm so scared of having a depressive crisis. Iīm so scared iīm expecting too much from them and not being able to deal with reality.
Ok those are fair, especially in light of what you found out below about this. So I will continue below.

Quote:
3) At the moment, I canīt really picture my life without her. I just feel so empty when I imagine that
A couple of potential points here. One you can live without her and two being empty can be expected. These are human results. Allows your self to love but not be dependent. Imagine the pressure you are putting on the person you love.

Quote:
The most shocking thing I discovered is that I have no answers for your last 2 questions. I donīt know what I bring to the relationship, and I donīt know what the positives in me might be. I really donīt undestrand why two amazing persons woulod want to be with me. I guess thatīs where my insecurity comes from. I canīt imagine them WANTING to be with me.
Bingo. Exactly what that exercise is supposed to help with. So now you know the root of why you feel insecure. You need to figure out how you fit, why you fit, and why she is in a relationship with you. That will go a long way to giving you confidence in the relationship...

Confidence will keep building on itself. Accept the fact that these things happen and you have to learn to deal with them. Don't beat yourself up for feeling this way.

Now I know I sound all calm and collected about this. But it happens to me too. I can go months feeling great and then have a downturn of insecurity.

Best of luck. There are more detailed and less detailed exercises in helping you recognize why and where you might feel insecure. ... Google insecurty and you will find lots of different methods. This one just happens to work for me.

Ari
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