Thank you both!
And MrFarFromRight, I think we definitely are poly, at least us girls, and there is potential in the men as well. I guess it's just that I find it hard for myself to think of poly as an identity, since I would have been happily monogamous if situation was different. Although, the more I think about these things the less reason I see for the boundaries as defined by society, it is more about what feels comfortable for the people involved. So it may be that at some point I will consider polyamory as an identity as well.