Originally Posted by dragonflysky
I can see where it would be hard to believe what she tells you since she and her husband aren't honest with one another. I think this would also add to a sense of insecurity on your part. I'm having a difficult time seeing where either one of them is really taking what you want and need into consideration. They seem pretty self centered in many ways in spite of their desires to be in a loving relationship with you.
Thatīs a huge part of it. Itīs not so much that I think sheīs lying to me. Itīs that I think sheīs lying to herself. I think she wants to believe all that she tells me, but iīm not sure sheīll be able to live with it. I feel she isnīt really chosing anything, and iīm just so scared she will suddenly decide to makke as if nothing ever happened.
And him, I just feel so strange. Last night he phoned me. He said he loved me, he wanted to be with me forever, he said if he was 10 years younger, he would want to live with me. But how can he be sincere and keep hiding everything? If heīs so good a liar to his wife, how can I know heīs being sincere and not saying that just to make me feel nice? I asked hiw what he was doing today, and he said "nothing special, Iīm just going to work at home". I know thatīs not true because she told me itīs their anniversary, and they had planned a special day together. So, how can I believe him? Why didnīt he tell me the truth? Is it just because he wanted to protect my feelings? I just wish he would tell me the truth, about everything.
And as to not being taken consideration of, thatīs something really difficult to digest. Itīs something I sometimes feel, but itīs not something I want to think. I feel very guilty about feeling that.