Just had a chance to read the draft of your "time to take a break" letter.
I think you are very much on the right track, especially when the other respondents' input is incorporated.
It seems to me that the main focus in situations like this should be for each partner to: 1) consider deeply what s/he really wants and needs in the relationship, 2) work to communicate those desires clearly and lovingly to each involved party, and 3) work together to see that everyone's needs/desires are addressed in a loving way. Yeah, easier said than done, I know (Brother, do I EVER know!) but so very much worth the effort.
There is much about this situation that is not yours to own or fix, as I and others have said before. And I hope you will continue to sift through the issues and separate what is "yours" and "y'all's" from what is "his," "hers" and "thier's." But it speaks very, very well of you that you do "own your shit" and are opening the lines of communication in a positive and loving way. We teach people how to treat us, and I think it is AWESOME the way you are modeling open communication to them. Good work! Keep it up!
Last edited by Fidelia; 09-26-2009 at 08:08 PM.