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Old 09-26-2009, 11:19 AM
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aussielover aussielover is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Home Sweet Home :D
Posts: 262

As others have said, there are many types of poly relationships. Congrats to you for finding love.

I do not judge, nor do I want you to think I'm attacking, but I do however have some concerns about a few things you've said. Perhaps its my position of coming from a thirds point of view. Concerns about Katja in this relationship.

From the way you worded things, it made it seem like it was ok for her to turn you on, by the kissing and cuddling and touching, but it ended there, and you went back and almost had sex with your husband.

Originally Posted by Tahirabs View Post
This morning was the best morning of my life!! I woke up and went into Katja's bedroom and laid with her for awhile just talking and kissing (dressed...mostly, in bra) and then I went back in to my husband and my room and almost had sex (would have if I hadn't been late for work).
This bothers me a little, ok, a lot, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds to me like she's being used as a tool. The two of you will get each other 'worked up' and then you have the option of going to your husband. What does she have. Nothing. She's left to her own devices which hardly seems fair to me.

You also said...

Originally Posted by Tahirabs View Post
really I don't want sex from her, I mean I love kissing her and touching her (with close on) but sex... it is even kind of (slightly) a turn off (with her) for so many reasons.
I'm a bit confused how it is a turn off when you are kissing and touching then nearly have sex with hubby. Clearly that DOES turn you on, but you're not willing or not able to be that intamate with her. Which is clearly your decision, but just seems odd to me.
I would really like to hear her view on this relationship. I would imagine it's extreemly frustrating to be taken to that point only to have you walk out and be with your husband.
I'm sure it has a lot to do with my being a third, but I know there's no way I could stay in a relationship like that for my own mental health. The turning on and then quickly turning off and knowing you've gone to be with him would kill me.

Don't get me wrong, if this makes ALL of you happy the way it is, then I'm happy for you, but I just can't see that her needs are being met by this situation.
"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Last edited by aussielover; 09-26-2009 at 01:47 PM.
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