Originally Posted by rositabanana
I also take a lot more time to become aroused before sex and very often he cannot keep an erection, so as soon as it's up its like, get it in there before it stops. Since we don't have sex a lot it's a lot of pressure for me to just do it for the sake of doing it, with the naive hope that if we can just have more sex we may get better at it. This is another issue that we have had a lot of problems with and I've suggested going to a doctor to get it checked out many times but he won't, because of his ego maybe?
That being said we have had good sex before it's just it happens very very few and far between and mostly when we have been drinking.
This makes me thing it is probably not a physical problem you two are experiencing at all. Drink relaxes you and lowers your inhibitions and internal dialogue - it does not enhance male erections though
How about making time for just intimacy and touching with an agreement not to take things to the level of intercourse at all? There are self-help materials available on-line or in books on sexual healing and tantric sex, for example. You don't need a guru or an exotic and expensive retreat to get the basic things down - it's more about taking the pressure of sex as an athletic feat and the focus away from male ejaculative orgasm as the Ultimate End Goal of Sex.