Originally Posted by nycindie
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
I don't feel safe with him. Anytime he is scared or insecure he attacks me verbally.
He sent a text to me (on accident) that was intended for someone else. It started with "It's insane that I still love her."
He can't understand why that eroded my trust in him further OR why it leaves me doubting the point of making an effort with him.
I can't figure out how to explain it to him-because it's so obvious to me that saying that about me to other people is such a fucked up sign of disrespect and disregard...
Ahh, dear, dear LR, I hate to say this but... pot meet kettle.
How is Maca's saying "It's insane that I still love her" any different from what you are writing about him here? Sure, perhaps he's saying it to people who know you and what you're saying here is to mostly anonymous people, but his saying that doesn't look disrespectful from where I sit.
Actually I thought it was a pretty cool comment that could mean exactly the opposite of what you thought - like that, "despite how insane it is, I love her and can't stop loving her." I saw it as acknowledging his love for you amidst all the craziness (which he is also acknowledging). Meanwhile you are analyzing his personality and detailing his fears and shortcomings as you see them, for all of us and him to read here, so I fail to see how his comment is so much worse than what you're doing, or disrespectful, or disregarding you in any way. Can't he vent to people like you can? It's difficult for Maca, too.
It's obvious you're pissed, but perhaps in this instance, you could cut him some slack. Just my two dinars.
: While wanting to be careful about being fair to Maca (I don't actually LIKE the taste of my foot in my mouth), I think that I can understand LR's feeling like this... and perhaps for different reasons than those with which she has already replied to you. The way I
understood that "why that eroded my trust in him further"
(and I might be way off base here) was "Whenever Maca and I talk, he is full of accusations and doesn't tell me that he still loves me... And yet he's willing to tell OTHERS that he still loves me." IF that's the case - and I were in LR's position - it would seem to me like a power game (keeping LR wondering or doubting, not reassuring her that there is real love there).