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Old 04-19-2011, 03:13 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
What do you mean by mixed orientation relationships?
A mixed orientation relationship is a relationship where one partner is sexual and the other partner asexual, or one partner prefers another gender from which their partner identifies with, or one is poly while the other one is mono, one is kinky in a way that the other partner doesn't share etc. I have a mixed-orientation relationship with a girlfriend who is straight, so we are not sexually intimate, but that is bit of a non-issue because of the poly thing.

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
I have considered that option from time to time but I go through periods where I am very clearly bi, and other times when I think maybe I don't care for guys.
I think most bi girls have phases. I like to call myself a flexbian (or homoflexible) because I don't mind sex with men and have a passionate relationship with one, but if I haven't met Sweetheart and having had the same-sex experiences I have now, I think I wouldn't bother about men at all on any other than friendship level. Even if you are now gay, or moving towards it, it doesn't mean you couldn't go back to bi some time later in your life. Many women have.

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
I've always longed for the security I feel with a man and the sensuality I feel with a woman. Now I have both in one girl and it makes me shy away from the idea of men all together (sexually.) My bf has expressed fears about this exact idea, of me losing my attraction to him and interest in men in general. It's a valid fear but I'm too afraid to let go of him and admit or accept anything like that. I don't think it's what I want; I love him.
As said, you can continue to live and love together but the dynamics will change. You can try to channel your feelings of love for him to be able to interact with him sexually for his benefit although it no longer gives you the kick it used to; you can try discussing things like personal hygiene and grooming in a constructive, non-judgmental way; you can go to sex therapy or learn about tantric sex or some other technique where male ejaculative orgasm isn't the ultimate goal of sexual interaction.

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
How do you have a normal sex life with each partner with the other living in the same house?
You share. You look for windows for opportunity. You live on compersion. You make dates. You alternate sleeping arrangements. (I'm involved with a couple with small children and we have a raucous sex-life! It can be done.)

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
I also would like them to be closer and more comfortable around each other before we even think of living together. They get along but both seem a bit reserved when just hanging out us 3.
I don't see this ever working unless your partners are able to be friends. Chosen family requires voluntary mutual commitment from everyone involved to work.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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