The DADT policy is a difficult one to negotiate through AND have a relationship around each other.
GG is mono and he and I have a solid relationship.
You might drop him an email (if you want his email address PM me or catch me on facebook).
One of the difficulties I've encountered when having two loves in the same place is ensuring that both receive the amount of attention that they need-without the other one getting uppity.. I imagine that will be a topic to consider if you are with both your hubby and 2rings due to your hubby not wanting to encounter that aspect of yoru relationship with 2rings. You will have to "tone down" your affection with 2rings... that could cuase issues between the two of you.
"Love As Thou Wilt"