Originally Posted by sage
I'm wondering if Maca 'hating' GG is how his discomfort with your relationship is
manifesting? In other words your relationship isn't failing because he hates GG but Maca hates GG because your relationship with him failing.
You obviously really miss Maca. When a relationship has reached it's conclusion you don't miss them, you're relieved to have them gone (my experience anyway) If I was you I would ask him how he is, and what he wants for his life. I would try and love him for Maca the person and not Maca the partner.
I would agree about him hating GG because our relationship is "failing", not the other way around. But-he is dead set that the only reason our relationship is failing is because of GG.
Also-I agree on the last part. I have asked him (repeatedly) and again this morning what it is that HE wants and what HE needs etc. He says he wants to be happy, secure and to trust me. But, he won't give me any more than that.
He told me Friday he wanted me to put my relationship with GG on hold for 6 months. I agreed, including agreeing to move out-so that I'm not living with GG-even though that means leaving our kids with GG and Mimi and neither myself or Maca living here.
But-that didn't help. He threw it in my face that I'm "just goign through the motions"... Accused me of "playing with his head" as well.
Today he tells me he wasn't being fair or reasonable and that he takes back his request....
In the meantime, the kids are a wreck, Mimi and GG are both pissed off beyond belief about the whole thing (particularly the back and forth decisions), my brother is ticked off about beign asked if I can stay there and then rescheduled adn rescheduled and then cancelled-because of the wishy washy back and forth...
Furthermore-the agreement was that he was goign to do therapy WEEKLY-but he hasn't been even one time since he moved out.
He was goign to work on his relationship wtih GG-just the two fo them. He won't even TALK to him.
HE says he wants to be a part of this family-doesn't want to take GG away from the kids or me, doesn't want to keep fighting etc.. but he won't STICK to the necessary steps to GET TO THAT POINT.
He makes a decision, then changes his mind as soon as the hard work starts. Repeatedly.