Thread: First date rule
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Old 04-18-2011, 05:04 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 883

Mr. Sour and I tried this !

The amusing part for ourselves, was that we didn`t do it at 'the beginning'.
We dated seperately for awhile, and then one time a issue came up, where I couldnt really get a read on a guy.

I take awhile getting to know people before I meet them. Usually I have good intincts,.....but,..this guy was a head-scratcher' for me. Mr.Sour and I tend to have the same thought processes on people and personalities, so I wanted his opinion.
So I asked Mr.Sour to meet me with him. It went totally fine, and the guy was okie-dokie.

I am usually someone who prefers to do things alone, on my own. However, we had moved to a new city, I was in a unknown area, had no feel for the culture or the attitude, so I think I just wanted the confidence and opinion, that something familiar brings.

He asked me the same favour one time, going on a date with a new woman. Though, his reason was ....ummm,......cause he wanted a excuse to leave, if she was a nutter. LOL

So I can see TL`s reasoning. (safety, and equal opportunity in a way, I think ? ) Also, I have met people who wanted me to meet their spouse as well. It`s not ever felt awkward, which really surprised me ! We usually all laugh and have a easier time,....3 or 4 people making conversation, fills in more gaps then 2, sometimes.

I think the difference lies in the reason for the extra addition. If it is fear-based, and almost interrogation-like, then it would feel very much like a meeting, and not a date.
I can tell you, in my case, where I met that gentleman,..there was some flirting, and I was even flirting with the waitress on behalf of Mr.Sour.

Negative moments : I`ve had people message me online, then hand over my email to their spouse,....and THAT felt like interrogation. I`d rather meet in real life, and see if the comfort-zone is there, or not.

I had the husband of a gorgeous woman, ( I had hoped was blossoming into a relationship ) ..tell me after date three, that if I wanted to touch his wife, I had to ask him permission first, because they had a D/s relationship sexually, and I was expected to follow it. Ummmmm, I`ll ask her, not him. Either she`s her own woman or not, apart from him. What they do in sex, involving themselves, is up to them, but nobody was dictating their sex life, at me.

Last edited by SourGirl; 04-18-2011 at 05:07 PM.
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