Thread: Coming out
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Old 04-18-2011, 03:42 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upstate NY
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Originally Posted by polyt View Post
So a couple questions for you guys. Do any of your family members know? If not, do they know you're with one person and not others? If your family is against it as mine is, how will you explain to them your relationship status?

Sorry if these didn't make a lot of sense. I can try to re-word them later.
Wolf and I are only out to one member of our family; his cousin; who is also poly. In 2009, my sister, brother, hubby, and dad outed me as bi to my mom at Christmas Eve cookie making.... mom stayed in denial until earlier this year when a friend tagged me in a FB photo of me kissing a mutual female friend. I promptly untagged myself, but the damage has already been done. Though my mom never spoke directly to me about it. *shrugs*
Our families know Wendigo and Pretty Lady as our best friends. We "double date" every few months when we can afford it and PL can get out of picking their son up from JROTC practice.

Wendigo and I have gone back and forth on letting various friends in on our secret, but only 2 friends have direct knowledge of who Wolf and I are involved with and they are probably the last two we will ever tell; almost all of our friends are mutual.

In January, our quad officially came out to a close mutual friend, in part because he'd taken notice of how Wendigo and I interacted and the light bulb went off over his head. This did not end well. And resulted in Pretty Lady asking that Wendigo and I be more careful, as she was concerned with too many people knowing; especially after said friend commented that I should shoot a porno and he'd love to video tape it for us. She realized he was of more of a swinging mindset and became concerned that he'd film us and spread the film around to our other friends behind our backs.

(Background on Wendigo and PL: They live in a small town with her entire family living w/in 3 miles of their house, share property with her sister, and rely on shared family vehicles to get around town. Her family still treats Wendigo as an outsider after 19 years - in part because he is bi-racial.)

About a week later, said friend leaves his IM window open and his fiancée reads our conversation about my relationship with Wendigo and starts asking questions of Wendigo and I because she sees sex as a spiritual/ metaphysical expression of love that you can only have with your singular soul mate. I end up in the dog house for 24 hours while Wendigo and PL sort out their feelings about how she found out. Fast forward 3 months, we're doing okay, but our friendship with said friend is not as strong as it once was and our friendship with his fiancée is strained.

So far the being out is just not worth it.
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