Originally Posted by Tonberry
Originally Posted by Rachelina
I wish my post could have remained separate....now it is lost in this thread which doesn't really apply to my situation. There are some interesting stories here but I couldn't find any about people in a triad or vee having NEW children, to be raised in a polyamorous family with three parents from the very start. Anyone????? or is this not generally done?
It happens, but a lot of people worry about their children being taken away from them, so some are reluctant. Also, it's not uncommon for poly people to realise they're poly a bit later in life, at which point they have existing children and might not want more of them.
I think you'd have more luck looking how it's done with plural marriage, where it's very common to raise kids with several mothers from the get go (although not several fathers).
I think that the parallel is with other families (mainly couples) who want to have children and know that they [parents and/or
children] are going to face prejudice: mixed race couples, couples expecting a child with Down's Syndrome or other "otherness", lesbian or single mothers [see my earlier post with the story about my friend: she knew before
her child was born that both of them were going to have a tough time]...
Just as I believe that you should be honest right from the start
with your children about sex, or the fact that they're adopted, or that grown-ups (including you) don't
always have all the answers, or the fact that you have your down days or sometimes show anger towards them when they did nothing wrong - it's just that you were feeling mad at yourself or at something/somebody else and I'm sorry, Darling, that I let it out on you... just so I think that you should be honest with them right from the start about polyamory and stand beside them to face whatever prejudice the world might sling at you.
If you're not
honest right from the start, then when they do
find out... do you think that they'll ever trust you 100% again?
As for Tonberry
's "looking how it's done with plural marriage"
: this is good advice and you should check it out, but remember that plural marriages are often an accepted facet of an already established community (such as the Mormons) that offers its members support. So it doesn't apply 100% to living poly while surrounded by monos. [I have to smile when I use the word "monos", because it Spanish it means monkeys!
[Any time you feel that you need support, just come to this board!]