Originally Posted by sage
I remember back to PN's struggles prior to Mono shifting in. He resisted it for some time and I remember you wrote that he went through a period of just wanting his wife back. And yet he was able to release his attachments and what a wonderful gift he has received in being free to fully explore his spirituality and 'greener' self. You are both so different now in many ways and polyamory has allowed you both to fully experience who you are while retaining the essence of your relationship. This is where monogamy falls down. Growth and change have to continually be curbed to fit within the established context. For many people it just becomes too hard and they stop trying to jump out of their box.
Thanks Sage. This is beautifully said! The bold is exactly what I feel has happened. PN has become more himself and so have I... Yes, we have changed, but in such a way that has enhanced what was already there but wasn't nurtured. Now we all find ways to encourage each other to be MORE ourselves. We seek out for each other what makes us happy. I prompt Mono to make plans to ride, I point out mushroom events for PN, etc... its almost like having compersion with everything they do... The more they are able to achieve their life's goals, the more I want to be there to walk the path with them. Same goes for Derby and Leo also. I might not get why something is so important to them, but I sure as hell will stand by them as they do it, because that is what makes them happy and in turn what makes me happy... it rubs off some how. Really, once fear is taken out of the equation, there is no stopping the multitude of opportunities to thrive in relationship life.