Originally Posted by maca
He is a good guy, him and I get along just fine when its not involving LR. We work well as a team. There is just to much that is wrong with me, I cant break through the hurt and anger.
As for the weekend Daddy thing. You have no idea the tears I shed at night. The lump that forms in my throat every time I have to say good bye to them. The hour long drive back to my lonely one room apt feels like walking through a fire pit that is covered in broken glass. There is really nothing more for me to say.
Ach sweetie read these sentences. You wrote them. Read them.
Just stop the insanity of living in regret and remorse and anger and hate. You have got 9- count em 9
people committed to you and your tribe.
No one is judging YOU- just some of your behaviors. And not judging in an accusatory way just in a dumbfounded way. You are a sexy, strong, hardworking, loving man. Just don't go all Charlie Sheen and love destructively- or violently. It ain't winning Mr. Competitor.
Take a page from someone who does know you (Mono). Be happy in all the little moments. Don't dwell on the "what should be's" That is a control issue. You may be LR's Dom but you aren't life's Dom. Sometimes YOU have to get over it to get what YOU want. Love and peace to you darling. Glad you read along on here. Good to know you aren't completely disconnected. Hugs.