LR sorry things are falling apart. May I ask a couple questions, because I am confused?
So you and Maca have been together 10 years or so? I read you mention you 2 get it on sexually 28 days a month. So, he's a stud, that's awesome. You must miss his touch tho.
And at some point, you met and got with GG, on the side, not in agreed upon polyamory. And GG and you are in a power exchange relationship, you Mistress, him slave.
Are you and Maca also in a BDSM relationship? Is he your Dom? If he is, would that make your cheating, and getting his understanding and forgiveness, that much worse?
How does Maca feel about you having a D/s relationship w GG? Is that part of your issues, or am I way off base? If Maca is vanilla, otoh, that could also be a problem?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37