View Single Post
Old 04-15-2011, 09:58 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

In reading through this thread, I had an epiphany. We've never had much in the way of rules--safe sex with others the primary one--and I figured out why.

We understand that there are consequences for our behaviors. We understand that our partners are free to decide for themselves what they will and will not tolerate. We make our choices with the thought in mind that what we do can lead to our partner(s) choosing not to continue in the relationship. If we want to continue in the relationship, then we avoid choices that make continuance untenable for the other person.

In other words, I avoid doing anything that I suspect would alienate Curly and she offers me the same consideration, simply because we want to remain in this relationship.

That said, if she were to get horribly upset by a long list of things to where I couldn't engage in other relationships without a major load of hassle and/or drama, I'd likely walk on because that would make the relationship untenable for me. It's a balancing act, and I think a primary requirement is to find somebody who's essentially compatible in terms of relationship style and emotional maturity.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Reply With Quote