Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
I've found myself unsettled by that sort of ambiguity when the attraction seems obvious (other people have asked about it) and yet there's been no sense of what our relationship actually entails. I've had to step back a bit just to clear my head and regain my equilibrium. My sense of my own attractiveness has been rattled--seriously, is she really attracted to me?
Granted, both of us are in situations that make anything truly
solid prohibitive at the moment but I'd like to feel at least comfortable enough to exchange small murmurings of infatuation and hopefulness for some future...something
or another. The two times I had the nerve to say something to the effect of "You know, I kinda miss you right now," reciprocation was not expressed. Both times were over chat and his reaction was to respond with a
However, whenever I find myself with free time to drive to town, he seems nothing short of elated. He seems to make room for me in his plans, even if it's last minute and the time we actually spend together feels magical to me...he just never actually initiates
plans and when it's over, it seems like it's off his radar entirely (Granted, he has a very busy radar).
We have a friendship level of care and regard for one another that transcends any relationship type stuff. He has always been honest with me, has never lied and has never tried to manipulate me into anything. He has never displayed anything other than utmost respect for my choices and I his.
It's frustrating. I don't want any kind of commitment to some plan of action or another because that simply can't happen right now. I just want to feel like I'm important and like I'm on his mind. I want to feel wanted instead of "out of sight, out of mind."
I feel spooked by this enough to back off and push it away to focus on other things.
Am I overthinking this?