As much as I try to justify everything that's happened, I keep hearing a little voice that tells me to keep him far. I have a tendency to be too trusting and forgiving when it would be more appropriate to set up strict boundaries. I've given him lots of chances to 'have a heart.' And he hasn't taken any of them. It makes me really, really sad.
On a happier note, I had a few interesting encounters today. I take the train home from work and a coworkers rode with me. One of them got off at my stop and it turns out that he immigrated from Mali, where I'm looking to do an internship. Small world! He was a really interesting person and offered to set me up with contacts if I needed some.
One of my training friends came and trained with me apart from the training with O. It was fairly productive and we found out that we're both kinksters. I think he's the first kinky friend I've had in awhile.
We had a funny discussion about figging.
I forget if I've mention F at all. Otherwise known in my head as AbsolutelyDropDeadGorgeousMan. I trained with him last week. We're getting together on Friday. I've had a crush on F for months. O knew about but I never pursued it. I know that I'm not ready to get into a relationship right now and we're just training now anyway. But the more I hang around him, the more I get all ooshy gooshy and totally infatuated with him. And the thought that I could actually be in a primary relationship (with anyone!). It just feels to good to be true. And on his facebook profile, he indicates an interest in Shibari? So maybe he's kinky? The martial arts community seems to be full of kinky people, so it would make sense. Who knows...