Thanks for writing Mr. Dragonart. Its always helpful to hear all sides and I appreciate that you took the time and had the guts to express yourself. It isn't easy when people have made assumptions that push buttons. Please remember that those assumptions are made from lack of knowledge or from one persons opinion. Most people in this communuity are radically honest and open, but usually come with a heavy dose of compassion. Most of us have been there and know something of what you are going through. I hope that you take what others say and have said and use it. Their is wisdom here.
Poly has a firm root and takes pride in being about consent and good ethics. This woman you are finding yourself attached to is not getting consent and is not acting ethically. In my opinion that means that if you are involved with her, you aren't either.
I understand that tight rope that is walked between talking every day and having a full blown affair. Most affairs start like that. I also understand the denial of what is going on also. "I'll be fine, it will be fine, no one is REALLY getting hurt. I have control here." I get it. The thing is, people will and are going to get hurt if this goes on as is. You've already met up with her twice behind his back.
This husband of hers is not being considered at the bottom line, and that is hurtful. That is on your head as much as hers because you are prompting her to be in touch with you rather than saying no until you have heard from his mouth that it is okay that she engage you on a romantic level.
I suggest you do some searches here for "foundations," "lessons" and "cheating." You will find a lot. Your story is up there with the top five reasons people come to this site. At least you are in good company.
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