Well, koifish, you know you weren't happy and were using fantasy as a retreat from your unhappiness, the unworkableness of the relationship, and his shitty, inconsiderate treatment of you.
So, what are you going to do? Get married anyway? The fantasies you may have of that fixing everything or turning the crap into something wonderful will almost certainly never come true, hate to break it to ya.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein