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Old 04-12-2011, 07:21 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Smack in the middle of The Spanish Revolution!
Posts: 483
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Beodude, Jen loves you. She loves you. She loves you. Don't forget that.
That's right, Man - and you know it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
This insecurity and feeling inadequate is something that is there in you all the time, and has been triggered by this new chapter in your marriage. But it is yours to look at and decipher - with compassion for yourself. I think every time you tell yourself you are not enough for Jen, you need to step back from it and look at where in you that statement comes from. What other times in your life were you feeling "not enough?" It might have started in early childhood, and is a familiar feeling, but that doesn't mean it's valid or true. You are enough. This I know, even without knowing the two of you personally. You are enough. And Jen loves you.
This is something I brought up with you before, when I asked you if you loved yourself.

Listen: My father was always comparing me to my oh-so-much-more-responsible brother (who was 8 years older than me and had already left home by then... to another country!): "When Frisky-Tail [not his real name, Folks] was your age, I could have depended on him to (yadda yadda yadda). But you: I don't know!...[what I ever did to deserve a loser son like you.]" My eldest sister never tired of telling me that I broke everything I touched. I had an inferiority complex like nobody's business!... And I never really believed that anybody could love me. Because I didn't love myself.

[I love myself plenty now, but still nobody else loves me!]

I'm not a huge fan of professional counselling, but I think that you have things that you need to work out. Some of it - I suspect - has absolutely nothing to do with Jen. And maybe a professional (or at least somebody with experience) could help. Maybe you should think about counselling for yourself - as well as the marriage counselling with Jen.

If you even suspect that there's any hint of "Hey, Dude: you're really screwed up! You need professional help!" then you have no idea where I'm coming from (or what I've come through)!

I've read in the past about your pain and your doubts. Today I've read about your anger. You know that song?:

When things go wrong,
So wrong with you...
It hurts me too.

I have come to feel a certain affection for you and Jen through your posts and your attempts to reach a happy lifestyle / lovestyle. I want you both to be happy.

Love yourself at least enough to head for that. Please!
__________________
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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