Thread: Just LR
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Old 04-12-2011, 11:47 AM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Right now a real life hug would be amazing.
Sorry, but my arms aren't that long. Will you take a rain check? (Hold me to this - it's waiting for you.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
It's easier to blame the scapegoat (GG) than face that he's choosing to destroy his life.

BUT-when he's forced to face that HE HAS TO ADMIT THAT HE FUCKED UP HIS OWN RELATIONSHIPS, he flees in the face of the work that goes along with fixing himself and suddenly it's all about hating GG again.
This sucks! But it's so human.

I haven't read all of your earlier stuff, so the bit about rape comes as a real shock to me. It seems that Maca is now in that stereotype position of the divorced father who hasn't got to deal with the day-to-day problems (Are the kids eating healthily? Are they treating each other well? How are they coping with the break-up?...), gets to show up when it suits him (OK, I suppose that you've worked out a schedule... but just who's holding the fort if "something came up"?), take them for a hamburger, an ice-cream (maybe not in your climate just now), a movie... and come across as "Dear Daddy!" who's fun!!!, while you're the sergeant-major who lays down the rules at home.

Easy to complain that you only talk about problems when he's skipped out on the problems...
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I did break it off with GG. He's being completely understanding that what I need from him now-is a friend, not a lover.

Thankfully, in that one relationship, I choose well. I choose a man who understands that just because you can't be a couple at a given moment doesn't mean you don't love each other
AND
just because you love each other doesn't mean that you're capable of being together at any given moment.

He's committed to the family, not to the sexual aspect of our relationship. He's helping me get the rest of the stuff out of the garage, then we're going to convert it to a bedroom for me.
This bit makes me both happy and sad. Happy that you've got somebody who's not going to abandon you or the family because he doesn't get his ration of nookie. Sad because I agree with another poster that it's a decision made in haste (no, sorry: this has been dragging on, I know) and it seems - to me - that you're making GG (and yourself?) pay for Maca's sins.

I hope that you both consider this a temporary break-up. (But in that case, wouldn't you have used the wording: "I told GG that I needed to back off for a while, to put the sex on hold, to concentrate on myself...")

I remember your writing that GG held you while you cried the night that Maca walked out. I hope that that's still possible between you two, because you do need hugs.

[Pass on a message to GG (you wrote that he doesn't log in here that often) from MFFR: "Please, Mister! Give this woman a hug from me." (This does not count as a debit on your account with me. And tell GG that this one doesn't count as a debit on your account with him, either. It's a freebee!)]

And LR: Give GG a hug from me as well: he deserves it! (You're now studying Maths, right? This makes TWO [separate] hugs!)

p.s. I read this thread after I sent you the PM.
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