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Old 04-12-2011, 02:56 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
So I have been invited to visit his workplace. I think the idea is totally shite.
Is that because you don't like the idea of seeing his workplace? Guns, Tanks, and all the other big expensive built by the lowest bidder toys for big boys?

Or is it just worrying about his workplace knowing about you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
1) I don't want it to look like he is cheating on his wife. I don't want to be the reason his men would lose respect for him. I don't think you can really respect someone you perceive as a cheater.
Wouldn't that be something he should worry about his own self? I'm sure he'll have a good handle on what the reactions would be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
2) Being totally out to everyone is not going to be possible, nor entirely advisable. Some of his men won't get it and will lose respect.
Again, something for him to worry about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
3) His wife isn't visiting. I don't want to if she doesn't. She alpha, I beta. It would like feel like being introduced to his parents and spending quality time with them in the hypothetical situation where his parents and his wife wouldn't be on talking terms with one another. Imposing is maybe the word I'm looking for? Over-assuming?
Has she already been there done that? Is she just not interested? It may make a difference if you're being invited instead-of her, as opposed to after her. Perhaps she really doesn't care about all the toys...or if he's been at it for a while, perhaps she's bored of the scene.

Another question...what is he inviting you to go to work for? A social lovers & sweethearts dance? Or a how & tell of things that go boom? The former, I can see the concern about having to come out to everyone. But if it's show and tell he could probably take you around and introduce you as a friend and no one would blink anymore than if you were a cousin, or the sister-in-law.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueWithEnvy View Post
If the military catches word of him cheating on his wife, even with her consent, he will get in a LOT of trouble. It is against our UCMJ to allow adultery. Hell you cant even have sex in any other way than Missionary if you look deep enough into our rules. Even blowjobs arent permitted. If his wife ends up getting upset about it, and wants to get him in trouble, she just has to produce your conversations and evidence of it and the notion alone is enough to get him in trouble. DO NOT DO IT.
Unless I missed something in previous posts about your situation, I wouldn't expect the US military rules to apply to another military. If he is a US serviceman, than by all means BWE has some good points I'm sure.

But if not, then it may be a continental military with a less puritanical history may be a little more tolerant, or at least less strict about the private lives of their people. That's a cultural judgement that you'd have to tell us about...and that he'd have to evaluate since it's his workplace...and his culture.
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