Good luck, Koi, as you and your fiancee reassess this situation. Sounds like you and the gf were both unhappy for most of the relationship, while your guy just reveled in having 2 women, while leaving you both emotionally unsatisfied!
The heck with that! And I agree, he enjoyed the NRE mooshy gooshy stuff while you were left with mundane day to day shit. Seems to be such a big problem in poly relationships, and it's just not right.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)