Metamours: to meet or not to meet?
So some of you may have read in my previous post about hating labels and how to explain polyamoury to a new interest... That is all sorted now. I've spoken to Ajax again about what it all means, and that I'm involved with someone else (Flax), and for now we're agreeing to keep seeing each other while he takes it all in etc.
The thing is, I'm not sure now how to proceed, having two proper involvements at the same time and in the same place. For the most part, I find people new to the idea of polyamoury preferring to be monogamous themselves, and to have things kept pretty separate.
BUT, the city in which I live is a pretty small place... everyone knows everyone else, pretty much. Flax and Ajax have common connections to some of my friends. The chances that they one day might need to be, or simply end up, in the same place at the same time are high. I've told each of them that I'm happy to do things how they want -- if they both want to keep things separate, I'll do my part to do that, or if they want to meet each other, I'm happy for that to happen, too. The thing is, I can't imagine either of them would want to be involved with the other. If they were to be in the same place at the same time, I can't imagine they'd be happy with me being entirely neutral towards both of them, nor with me being "with" both of them.
I just don't know how I could keep things entirely separate without unnatural scheduling and negotiating... For me, it would be best if they could at least be civil towards each other, and be able to handle "sharing" me at the same time. But I don't expect either of them to just agree to that.
So this isn't a simple question about what I should choose to do, as it's as much about what they want to do... But is there something in particular I should propose? Should we all just play it by ear and see what happens? Any suggestions? Thanks!
Last edited by zusammen; 04-11-2011 at 06:11 AM.