Seeker, why not preface what you want to say with pretty much what you wrote?
"I don't want to create a giant mess of drama with everything, but I think that I have a right to express my feelings. Some things have been festering because I've been discounted or unacknowledged.
I don't want anything I say to be misinterpreted or used against me, but I need to clear the air with a lot of stuff. I think I deserve at least that much respect.
I want you both to really make an effort to hear me without automatically resisting what I'm saying, or making some conclusions about what I'm saying. This is important to me . . ."
Then go for it.
A lot of people come here, write what's going on for them, and then ask,. "How do I say that to him/her?" But really, you've already put out there what you want to say, so there it is! Good luck.