Yes, you will have to stipulate in the divorce agreement that you will receive a portion of his pension (calculated for net present value), retirement account, social security benefits, and ask to be assigned his life insurance (assigned, not a beneficiary. He can change his beneficiaries at any time). These things are not automatically awarded to you. That is in addition to spousal support, which you had also better ask for, in case you are indeed left high and dry if he becomes enamored with his gf and you don't all wind up together.
His proposal of this situation is CRAZY!!!!
Don't sign anything until you've spoken with a lawyer familiar with government employees!
But I would say start with a therapist first - there seems to be a real problem here.
Last edited by nycindie; 04-10-2011 at 10:34 PM.