MG enters monogamous marriage
So here's the thing...I was never one for convention. Never thought marriage was something I wanted until I was ready for kids- the only reason in my mind to be married. Also, though I was never a bad girl, I enjoyed the company of bad boys on occasion. This fed my interest in not getting stuck in any ONE relationship. Not sure why but maybe just the typical need to shock when one is young. I also never really liked being vulnerable or "the girl" in the relationship. I always have been the go-to person in my family, the strong one. The one who takes care of things for everyone. But at the same time, I liked to take-off and wander for a bit every once in awhile. Always different circles of friends, some of those circles overlapping but for the most part I moved among them because I was always looking for something new or different. So how did I get into a traditional marriage situation?
Hubs is a compelling fella. I met him a few months after I got back home from Ireland- the second time around- at this point I am 21. I was working in a pub, doing some local campaign work and going to school fulltime. He came into the pub with a group of friends from a local university, and I heard his accent. We started chatting about Ireland- Belfast in particular because I had just been there visiting 1stLove's eldest brother who was a journalist covering Northern Ireland for the BBC. I was in a new relationship of sorts. College bf and I had been a couple since the previous August- so nearly a year. Not looking for another bf. But there was something different about this guy. (Isn't there always?) Any time he came into the pub when I was working, I found a reason to talk to him, or I pretended I needed my cigarette lit, or just brushed up against him putting in my orders etc. At the time he had this crazy, shock of dark curly hair. He has dark eyes that seem to be and are full of dark mysteries. He was a standout loner type even in a group of friends. He was somewhat quiet in this band of very loud, boisterous party people. He was always looking at me from across the room. Never made a move toward me, unless I gestured to him. We flirted for 5 or 6 months before actually going on a date. Of course I was the one that asked. We went to dinner and drove to a special spot in the city that we still go to when we need to talk. Surprisingly intimate in the middle of a busy city. Anyway, the next day I told the current bf that I was going to need some more space. I remember the day. It was just before Christmas. after I told him I needed space, he asked if it was because of Hubs. I guess it was apparent. BF punched the wall above my head...putting his fist through it. He was not interested in sharing me. So I moved-on. It was a baaaad breakup. As I said we were college friends and all of our best friends were friends. Lots of guilt. But I knew Hubs was going to be someone I could truly love.
We spent almost all of our freetime together until he had to leave- his J1 visa was up at the end of that semester. Did that end the relationship- hell no! He went back home and resumed life as a non-profit business advisor, working with cross-community conflict resolution initiatives. We wrote letters (before the internet boom) and called eachother every weekend. I followed him to Belfast the following summer. My sister accompanied me. She returned home without me. It was 1991. We were engaged that Christmas. Was it quick? Relatively. Whirlwind? Probably. My parents never knew a thing until I stayed without my sister. I remember talking to my dad and him saying "MG, please come home. Belfast is dangerous." Well that February I landed back home, engaged. We planned a 1993 wedding. However, his best friend's wedding was in August of 1992. Hubs was coming back to the US in September. I decided to surprise hubs by showing up for the wedding of his best friend. Only best friend and Hub's younger sister knew of my plans. Well it was a surprise to him. He was overwhelmed, and right after the wedding whisked me off to a seaside inn. We had not been physically with eachother for 6 months. Our twins were conceived that night. The rest is history. I was his wife and happily monogamous for 16 years. I was busy with raising kids and making our home. I did not go back to work full time from the time the twins were born (preemies) until our youngest daughter entered fullday preschool- 6 years as a stay at home mom, although I did some contract work on various campaigns and volunteered at their school.
More later. Gotta get to work now!
Last edited by Morningglory629; 04-11-2011 at 01:51 AM.