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Old 04-09-2011, 10:06 PM
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girlpatrol girlpatrol is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Boston
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Ooh, women who have transitioned from lesbian to bi intrigue me! Now I know you and Redpepper, there are probably others on this forum. Female sexual fluidity is something I spend absurd amounts of time thinking about, since I've moved a fair bit between identifying as a gay woman and identifying as a bi woman. Just now I'm comfortable with flexbian - primarily interested in women but willing to make exceptions for a few specific men.
Ah! Me too! I'm a flexbian!

I used to think I knew it all about myself. In high school, I was "definitely straight". When I was 20, I was "definitely bi". In my mid-20s, I was "definitely lesbian". When I hit 30, I was "maybe straight...??" for about a month, then to "1000% lesbian". At 35, I was thinking "lesbian... pretty much." At 38 now I'm "queer." I got tired of looking for the right thing to try and define myself, and then wondering why I had to at all. I just roll with 'queer' now - or flexbian - it seems to cover all the bases in a general and uplifting way, and I don't get headaches and complexes from analyzing it anymore.

When it comes to the idea of dating, though, I'm just willing to go out with the person first, and decide later if it should go further. I will concede that most of the "go further" times have been with women, as there is definitely something in the touch of a woman I desire, in a far different, and more compelling, way than the touch of a man. I'm not sure if I would ever be satisfied, wholly, in a relationship with just male partner(s), and I worry that if I try I'll fail miserably... this actually reminds me of something I need to ask for advice on in another thread sometime.

I am biologically female, and very woman, but pretty andro in my thinking and personality. I have no problem getting comfortable with my "male side". But a random stranger on the street would probably classify me as "hetero gender normative" based on looks alone. These ideas are pretty fluid with me, however, so the terms to describe them, I find, usually fall very short and are misapplied. I'm always thinking and challenging ideas of gender and sexuality even within myself. Gender is a very complex idea. It wouldn't faze me, though, to put a little Venus symbol in my signature or anything, or a little rainbow flag or something.
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