Greetings From Vancouver
I'll try to keep this relatively brief which may or may not actually be a success. I have been with my current boyfriend for around a year. I recently came to the realization that I am asexual. In the beginning of a relationship I'll be open to sex and even enjoy it somewhat, but the longer things go on the less I feel inclined to participate in sexual activities. Simply put, I do not experience sexual attraction and I just don't get much out of sex. I'm happier not having sex and sex itself causes me a lot of stress because I feel obligated to pretend to enjoy it when, in truth, I do not.
My asexuality has been a relatively recent discovery but once discovered, all the pieces of my past history pretty much just fell into place. I experience aesthetic attraction and consider myself to be panromantic asexual. Anyway, around the time of making this discovery I broke up with my boyfriend and we remained separated for a couple of months while I worked through this discovery, among other things. Between discovering my asexuality and gender neutrality, suffice to say its been a rather confusing time for me, although also a rather interesting time.
Throughout this period, I have lived with my boyfriend and we had a rather open dialogue regarding what I've been going through and what was to happen between the two of us. I don't feel that its fair to deny him sex, knowing how important sex is to most sexuals. After much discussion and deliberation I realized two things. First, I'm not sure that I'm really interested in a traditional monogamous relationship any longer. I certainly do have a desire for a romantic relationship, but I'm not sure I ever had a true desire for a traditional monogamous one outside of that being the expectation of society. Second was that I wanted to find out what it might be like to be with another woman.
I have always felt similar attraction to both males and females, although it was aesthetic rather than sexual in nature. However, a friend of mine has recently gone through a revelation in which she discovered she was a lesbian and it got me to thinking about the fact that I never have really been with another woman. I don't know if I'd enjoy it sexually, but I feel like I want to find out, at least once. Even if I don't I find that I have a desire to try a more non-traditional relationship and bringing a third party into our current relationship seems like something we both desire to do. I'm not entirely sure how it will work and I'm not entirely sure how to go about it, but I thought that coming here and doing some research would be a good place to start.
Well, looks like I failed at keeping this short. Oh well. I hope it wasn't too rambling and confusing.