Thread: New...ish?
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Old 04-08-2011, 03:39 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Lots of women have a hard time with this. I have women friends who just do not believe in asking anyone out, and that they should wait to be asked out. Or they just feel at a loss as to how to go about it, or they think they're going to look foolish, or be rejected. It seems to be very deeply ingrained in them that they just can't do it, and that they cannot bring themselves to be seen as in the position of someone who is "looking."

Years ago, during my pre-married single days, I had a dry spell. When I realized that I really wanted to get back in the game, I gave myself a little visualization to do: I imagined myself with a neon sign above my head that flashed the word, "AVAILABLE." It really gave me a sense of confidence to "proclaim" that for myself, in a way. It changed things -- along with my telling everyone I knew to go ahead and fix me up on dates, and doing personal ads (we didn't have OKC back then), talking to guys I happened to meet in the subway, the laundromat, post office, etc. I let everywhere be an opportunity, not just the typical gatherings.

Maybe you could use a boost of confidence or find a new perspective on looking at things, and you don't need to limit yourself to people who are already poly.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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