I've always strongly identified as female but have not particularly identified as feminine. I'm a lesbian with bi behavior. Kinky too. Labels have been weird for me lately - they've been helpful for me before but I think I've reached the 'too tight' point.
Beloved is female, lesbian/bi. Pool Boy (her long time lover), SW and Oil Man (my lovers) are all straight and male.
Beloved and I are actually very different in how we experience our gender. As mentioned above, I 'am' female; it is a part of who I am. Beloved sees her femaleness as something she performs, something she does, not something she is. She's way better at being feminine than I am. (I also suck at being butch or more masculine - I'm not much of a performer!) And because she is tall, well endowed and has great presence, Beloved is often mistaken for an unusually good drag queen - which she really enjoys.
Anyhoo, this kind of discussion is always interesting!