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Old 04-08-2011, 12:01 AM
AnotherConfused AnotherConfused is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 264

No worries about hijacking the thread. These are all things I like to think about.

BlackUnicorn, I've often thought of love similarly, as a composite of different types of feelings in different degrees. Would you say "passion" is the same as sexual attraction, or different? I'm thinking about my feelings for D, which definitely fit the NRE definition, but I would hesitate to describe the passion as sexual. Last night between dances we went outside to talk, and he put his arms around me when I got cold, but it felt more snuggly. When L puts his arms around me I feel a sexual current run straight through me. I am eager to see D again (was thrilled he changed plans last night and showed up where he knew I'd be dancing) and we can get giddy looking into each other's eyes, but I don't really want to see him naked! But intimacy? I hardly know him and don't know if I'll get to. Commitment? I can't see this going anywhere. So passion, not sexual? What is that?

(With L and H I feel all 3 feelings, which is why I wonder if I'm missing out on anything by forgoing sex with L.)

Tonberry, I was thinking it felt like a crush, but that's only when you don't tell? I feel like every so often I get a crush and the first thing I want to do is go and tell. Being married and not seeking other relationships gives me a kind of devil-may-care confidence I never had when I was single, so I can say "I really like you" and not be vested in their response.

Anyway, I now find myself in the business of trying to cover up feelings for D so other people don't notice, because eyebrows are starting to be raised. That makes me feel sneaky, not in a fun way. I feel like people will look at us dancing and assume there's an affair going on, so now I think we have to limit how much we dance. Big bummer. I think I disappointed him last night when I accepted the last dance with someone else, but he left before I could explain. *sigh*

And Magdlyn, if every day was orgy day I think we'd just have to find some other ritual behavior to give meaning to our most special relationships. The kinds of physical touch we give out most freely -handshakes, side hugs, cheek pecks, depending on who you are -those don't really carry any meaning. I would not want sex to lose its meaning, myself. Lovely as it feels physically, it always feels better (to me) when combined with love.

I just love that there are all these open-minded people here to discuss all this with! I could talk about love for hours. Thanks.
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