Originally Posted by SourGirl
I don`t identify as 'poly' as the general consensus on fundamentals, is not my personal belief, even though I feel poly in basic ability.
So I use 'Open Relationship/marriage' because it is a umbrella term in my mind. A umbrella that sub-cultures swinging, polyamory, dating, bdsm play-partners, and everything in between.
I know some people feel it lessens the 'value' or simply means casual play,.and that is totally acceptable.
This intrigues me, because getting in to poly, I thought 'open marriage/relationship' just meant that there was an established couple of two poly-identified people. Later I learnt that it is sometimes used in the manner you described, to mean a situation where sex with outside partners is permitted, but a desire to form a committed relationships with someone outside of the couple would be a problem.
For me, poly means that I'd rather have sex with people who would not be averse to the idea of the sex developing into a romantic relationship. So I guess if somebody told me they considered their relationship open I would be wary but not dismiss them outright as potential partners - there are a lot of people who call their relationships polyamorous and still cheat, for example.
I am undecided on whether poly is an inborn ability. I'd rather think of it as potential that different people have in different degrees, the same way I think about the straight-gay spectrum or the kink spectrum. I'm wondering whether jealousy is something people have different potentials for, too.
Sorry, might be venturing a bit far afield from the OP's concern, but this 'open marriage'-stuff intrigues me.