My kids are wonderful creatures with whom I am in love. They challenge me daily but I really dig them. Honestly...no joke. They are all teenagers (the twins are actually adults now) and piss me off on a regular basis for the usual teen behaviors. But, they are all so different and compliment eachother in a really (ok this may sound a bit hippy, huggy, syrupy gross) harmonious way. NOT TO SAY MY HOUSE IS 24/7 Disney perfect! Oh hell no! It is raucous much of the time and there are real feuds that happen over who wore who's hoodie. However, they are friends and not just siblings. For example, 3 nights a week both my husband and I work the same evenings. In our house everyone sits down together at dinner, shares the meal at home and talks about the happenings, news, gossip of the day. Very often I will check in on those days, and barring any one of them at work or practice, they are all there together doing the same thing- passing of the phone corroborates this practice when I am not there. Now...whether or not they are all eating in front of the TV when I call, the fact is they are all together and that means something. Another example, my eldest daughter went to a prom last year, and normally my brood often attend the same social gatherings because of their closeness in age and shared friends: parties, dances, games etc; last Spring her siblings didn't attend the same prom. Eldest daughter is my Diva and she is a social butterfly and quite happily independent...but she came home and said "it was fun, but it wasn't the same without my brother and sisters. They bring the party with them!" The mommy in me did a little dance inside when she said that because I honestly expect Diva to be the one that moves furthest away from Homebase.
So in a nutshell we are a very close family...practices passed on from both my husband and I and our upbringings.
Poly and my kids. This is a weird subject, and I am not 100% sure why. They are old enough to have conversations about love and sex with hubs and me. We talk openly and often about various subjects with them: sexuality of all types, STDs, pregnancy, abortion, body image, peer-pressure, effects of drug/alcohol use, etc . Always have. Hubs and I have always been affectionate in front of them. No body consciousness issues...while there is no nudist camp going-on, I have never been one to institute any "absolutely no skin is to be seen" doctrines. Strange practices for Catholics I know...but I never wanted them to have hang-ups or fear about talking on these subjects. Half the problem with the world is misinformation! And there is no hubs talks to the boy and I talk to the girls. Gender roles/identity and interaction have been fluid from the get-go. Hubs and I are both responsible for how they identify and relate to others. Right? Anyway, they are just really cool kids who aren't afraid to talk to adults and can pretty much talk on any subject under the sun...of course if it comes to technology and higher realms of Mathematics I am out of that loop. They are lightyears ahead of me! LOL!
So why the trepidation about the subject of poly? No idea. I have skimmed the subject with each of them individually. We have books about the house on open marriage, and alternative lifestyles. My kids are readers so I am sure they have poked around a bit. Recently, after a particularly nasty argument between hubs and I, I realized I have not touched enough on the subject nor have I shared my personal beliefs on it with them. My youngest daughter (14) asked if the conversation I had with her last year about the possibility of loving two or more people in a romantic way, was me telling her I was going to split-up with her dad, and move-in with 2Rings and away from her. I of course reassured her that it was not the case. That if for whatever reason her dad and I were arguing, and if those reasons were enough for a split then it had nothing to do with lack of love. That I would always love her dad. That she was always my priority. And that a divorce does not mean the end of a relationship, it just means there is a change in the dynamic of the relationship. I didn't tell her that 2Rings and I were lovers. I told her that he is very close to me, that we love eachother and will always be friends. I kind of left it at that. She seemed to be ok and relieved that her living situation wasn't changing in the near future, that hubs and I love eachother, and it was ok for 2Rings to be in her life too. I relayed the story to hubs. He was surprised she even mentioned 2Rings, as the argument wasn't about him at all. So weird. But a telling sign that I need to talk a bit more to them.
There were other conversations with the other children over the course of these last few months but I will continue later. I have to get ready for a Women in Politics class tonight. UGH! Some professors can take an interesting subject and lecturize the sh*# out of it, making it absolutely horrendous to listen to with endless statistics and monotonous irrelevent minutia!
Last edited by Morningglory629; 04-07-2011 at 05:19 PM.