Thread: Poly Curious?
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Old 09-23-2009, 06:01 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634

It seems that all my peeps out there have said it all. In that I would not be approaching poly with a three week old baby. Not to mention the approach of using them as a "tool" or with the idea that you think you have a great thing going and think its worth sharing. As if they would be a puppet of your desire.

You are starting a journey that you are new to. When babies are born it seems common that their parents go through a time when they scramble to get some sense of their own life back. As baby gets older and routines and patterns are established it becomes harder and harder to have ones own life. It feels like it will never come to an end and then one day they become outwardly focussed on the world instead inwardly focussed on Mum and Dad. You will find you have a chance to do your own thing again.

My experince in poly and raising a child, until age six so far, has been that before my baby I had lots of time to explore the lifestyle. I had my boy and for a good three years it was all about him and our family. When he was age four to five I got my life back together. Got my body back to normal, got back into my work, established new friendships that revolved around kids and family more and then branched out into poly again.

The first five years are meant to be for bonding time and for them and you to establish places in the family. I'm big into "attachment theory." which you can goggle to find out more.

I hear you when you say you are communicating and that you are mearly talking about it but I strongly suggest that you keep your line of thought about taking time. When it comes down to an actual relationship its a whole new ball game. Living it is different than talking about it.

All that we, on this forum, have written on about our experiences in poly is real and very intense. It would be doing your wife and child a dis-service if you were to get too excited and into searching for anyone, regardless if they are a friend already or not.

Frankly, if someone I am friends with approached me three weeks after their baby was born to start a poly relationship I would immediately end the friendship. You can't go back from that sort of thing.

If I were your wife I wouldn't have the energy to even object at this point and if you were to ask me if you can go out to search for a unicorn I would give you one big "Ya NO"

I'm glad you are looking into it and am happy you have found poly appealing, good luck to you in starting that up five years from now!
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