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Old 04-07-2011, 04:15 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545
Default Idealist Poly Blog Part 39- finally!!!

I am spending a few days in New Orleans with my female partner- I'm calling her Brenda. We met in November and have been seeing each other since then. She has met Richard, my primary partner, Charles, Holland and about 6 to 8 of my other friends. She is a lesbian and at first she said she didn't want to "integrate" into my life. Since that is what I wanted, and she can't resist me she has gradually "integrated" until we are finally ready to spend this quality time together and I'm thinking this will be our first time to have sex!!

I'm nervous because I haven't been "one on one" with a woman in over 10 years.
She hasn't had sex in a year, so she's nervous too!!

Richard reserved a room in New Orleans for 2 nights, but with his work schedule, he can only make the second night, so he said I could invite her and she and I could spend the first night there.

She is still acting rather hesitant around him and it's obvious that it's her issues because he is so accepting of her. I don't think she really knows how to relate to men. There is no telling what she has experienced. I am thinking she has been abused in some way by a man or men.

I have held bounderies with her which has created an interesting dynamic. She has pushed against those bounderies, but I haven't really given in. She's accused me of being controlling, but I don't care. I might be a bit controlling, but I'm okay with it. She trusts me also, so there is an interesting conflict that she has within herself. And, the boundaries have allowed us to take our time getting to know one another without jumping into the NRE head first. As a result, we have been in a fairly blissful state for 5 months!

Anyway....I just wanted to share with my wonderful polyamory family!!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.

Last edited by ImaginaryIllusion; 06-14-2011 at 02:18 AM. Reason: Names
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